As the due date is fast approaching I have found my self pondering all the "What Ifs..."

The more people I speak to about third babies the more I realise just how unpredicatable they are. We could be talking a 20 minute labour or a 20 hour labour - really don't know. It doesn't help that this pregnancy has been so much harder than the other two. Thankfully my SPD has not been anywhere near as bad as it was with Ruaridh but, my goodness, the nausea has been awful.

So this time with Martin working away a lot and with the task of running a business and looking after two energetic boys I decided that I should hire a Doula. Thankfully my mum offered to pay as she was not in a position to help out either with work commitments. So it was all arranged and I felt I had a weight taken off my mind. This week, with less than two weeks to go, my doula calls to tell me she has had a bad car accident and has no way of being able to get out to me - aagghh. I'm not cross - just worried about what to do. As I mentioned there are a lot of what ifs to consider.

Martin is now working in Newcastle (upon Tyne, not under Lyme for those of you wanting specifics) which is working out quite well for us. Martin is loving the new role and the commute isn't that bad. He could, in theory, commute every day - but 90 minutes each way will take its toll. So far he has been driving but he does also have the option of using the train now that Virgin stop at Dunbar. So, in theory Martin can be back here in 90 minutes which makes a nice change from other projects which would take considerably longer to return home from.

I've not been fighting fit this time, my biggest problems at the moment being fatigue and nausea/vomiting. I have a theory why I am suffering so much - which will be proved right or wrong when the baby arrives! In the meantime I am worn out from all the vomiting and stomach upsets and finding eating very difficult. It's no wonder a lot of my friends are commenting on how 'neat' I am and I have definitely lost weight again - all the excess going on my parasitic baby! Twice in the last 2 weeks I have thought that things have started and they haven't.

So - what are our plans? Well, of course, we are still going ahead with our home water birth plans. (Why would we want to go to a germ-ridden hospital?) We have an inflatable birth pool this time instead of the hired rigid ones we have used in the past. We've given it a wet-run and it all seems to work fine. It will go in our dining room, pushing the table back against the wall.

In terms of dates I am due on the 20th March if you go by the scan date. I don't actually agree with this though and believe I am due on the 28th - which is a big difference in the midwifery world. All along I have pencilled in the date of 2nd April as arrival date - which for me is only 5 days over and is fine. For those counting official dates though it puts the baby as 13 days over which could lead to all the twitching that Health Professionals insist on and mutterings of inductions will no doubt start. We'll just have to see what happens though. The unknown with this baby does make it possible that it could happen anytime, that's what makes me nervous. The unknown. Ideally a night labour of about 4-5 hours would suit me fine. Shorter than Morgan and Ruaridh's labours but long enough to get into established labour (and into the pool). The thought of a fast, furious labour terrifies me - especially if Martin can't make it home in time...

If it's a day time labour, however, I have all the problems of what to do with the boys... Picking them up from school, finding them things to do - again - it's the unknown.

So now with the Midwives officially on call we start to play the waiting game...