Before the birth

Morgan was due on August 22nd 2001. I did a lot of reading when I was first pregnant - including a lot by Michel Odent and Sheila Kitzinger. Using this knowledge and a lot of on-line conversations from various e-groups I had joined I decided that I did not want to have an intervention-filled hospital birth and started looking into home births. I specifically wanted a water birth and started to look around Edinburgh for support. I soon found the Birth Resource Centre which offered advice as well as birth classes which I quickly signed up for. They were able to give me the name of a woman who I could hire a birth pool from. I also booked a home birth with my local community midwives. All was looking good. I was told that my local midwives would support me for two weeks before my due date and ten days after. I knew that the baby would be late so looking at the dates I reckoned I would go into labour on day ten and give birth on September 2nd during the Italian Grand Prix. How close I was - Morgan was born on September 2nd, after the Belgian Grand Prix (I had the Grand Prixs wrong in my diary). Anyway - here's Morgan's story:

The night before...

2.30 am I woke up to find myself feeling rather damp. A dash to the bathroom revealed that my waters have maybe gone - as a novice at this I'm not convinced that this is it. I eventually go back into the bedroom feeling rather damp and put on a pair of Martin's boxer shorts. Martin is awake and vaguely concerned and asks what to do. We have been told to contact the hospital if my waters go before my contractions start. (This is because the midwives are concerned that the cord may fall below the head as the waters leak out and without contractions going to push the rest of the baby down.) I phoned the hospital to get their advice about what to do and after explaining our circumstances they agree to us coming in. We get to the hospital at about 3am and are let in and told where we need to go. Once we are at the hospital we explain that we are not staying and are simply there to be checked over. The midwife who sees us is lovely and sets me up on the monitor. The midwife actually agreed with us that avoiding hospital intervention is definitely advisable. Everything looks fine, the baby is moving around and the heartbeat is fine. The midwife with Martin's help (to hold the torch) does a quick non-invasive internal check and as the fluid is clear and all looks well we are sent home again. We are told that if the contractions have not started within 24 hours we must go back in to be checked again. Meanwhile they have a swab which they will check for signs of infection.

We get home at around 4.30am and Kylie (a good friend who has been staying with us) can not contain her excitement any longer and comes out of her room to see what is going on. I have a cup of tea and Martin updates the web-site to say that my waters have broken. I think I am starting to have contractions but am not entirely sure. Just feels like period cramps. We go back to bed at about 5am to try and get some sleep. I'm not in the mood for sleep so get up shortly afterwards, telling Martin to try and get some sleep. I actually spend quite a bit of time sat on the toilet which seems to feel more comfortable than doing anything else. By 6am I feel that the 'period pains' are becoming more regular and get Martin up as I feel I need company. I'm still not convinced that I am in labour. We know that the midwives change shift at 8am so rather than needlessly calling out the ones who are about to go off-duty we decide to wait until at least 8am before contacting them. Martin starts to fill the pool - convinced that this is it. (I'm still not sure) He also sets up the sofa bed in the lounge as an alternative place for me to be if I feel I need it. Lots of plastic sheets, sheets and towels are to hand as needed.

Labour has definitely started

I decide to put the TENS unit on and Martin starts to time the cramps I have been getting. They are fairly regular now so we agree that they are indeed contractions. In general the contractions are now coming every 5 minutes or so and lasting for between 1 and 2 minutes. For the next couple of hours I sit in my office chair with Martin opposite me timing the contractions and keeping me company. Occasionally I get up and walk around the house - enjoying the opportunity to change rooms if I need to - but the office chair seems to be where I feel most comfortable (or is that least uncomfortable?) At one point one of my cats settled herself on my lap and purred along to help me. (I pushed her off after a while as she was getting heavy.) I think I also had a shower over this time - but can't really remember.

The midwives arrive

Martin calls the midwives and they arrive by 10am. There are two midwives - Ramona is there to support me and Evelyn is there for the baby. I'm still not convinced I am in labour and ask Ramona to do an internal examination (although my birth plan says I wouldn't want this - don't always believe your birth plan!) and I am 3cm dilated and the baby is engaged so things are definitely happening. Carried on labouring mainly in the office and also wandering round the house when I need a change of scene and position. The midwives begin to set up their equipment, Kylie starts making food and cups of tea for everyone and Martin checks the pool and stays with me. By 12.00 the midwives feel things are progressing nicely and feel confident enough to leave us for a while to go into their office and grab some lunch. Ramona does another internal examination and I am now 4cm dilated. I get into the bath. As they leave Ramona tells me that I can get into the pool whenever I want as she knows that I am eager to use it.

Enter the birth-pool

By 12.30 I get into the pool - and no-one is going to get me out. Getting into the pool made life a lot easier. We switched on the Grand Prix - I even remember being a bit annoyed because I had missed the beginning. For those of you that are interested it was the Belgian Grand Prix at Spa. Williams should have done well but didn't and Burti had a horrific crash. As predicted Michael Scumacher won. Anyway - enough of the Grand Prix and on with the labour. I felt so at ease in the water - much better than the bath. I could stretch out and really try and relax between contractions.

The contractions start to come on thick and fast now. I remember sinking under the water a couple of times to help me concentrate. The midwives are still out to lunch and I'm beginning to get worried. The urge to push is getting stronger and stronger. To fight the urge I find myself groaning and shouting 'no'. Poor Martin wanted to help me and I didn't want to be touched. Just having him there was so good though and I don't think I could have been so strong without him. I think this was the hardest part for him - I was shouting a lot and not really seeming to need him and without the midwives I think we were both feeling a little vulnerable.

During this time Anna, another good friend, arrives. If Martin had been unable to make the birth (he has been working away in London a lot recently) then Anna was going to be my birth partner. I asked her to be my partner many months ago and she has been reading up on the subject since. She has also been a huge support throughout my pregnancy and it was a nice feeling knowing that she was in the house too. At this point of the proceedings, however, all I wanted was Martin's and the Midwives' support - so I didn't actually see Anna until after the baby was born.

Transition phase

The midwives finally came back from lunch and assured us that everything was going well and I was doing fine. Ramona uses a hand-held monitor to listen to the baby's heartbeat and all is fine. The midwives realise that this baby is going to be here within the next couple of hours and continue to set everything else up - including the resuscitation area in case the baby is in trouble. Evelyn also sets up the gas and air cylinder in case I need it.

I continue to have very strong urges to push but still don't feel ready to go with them. I remember asking Ramona how I would know when I could push and she tells me that when I can physically do nothing else. I had a discussion on-line about this very subject - whether you should push or 'breathe' the baby out. I had heard other Mothers talking about their bodies wanting to push and not really knowing what they meant. I thought I would be able to hold off and breathe the baby out - which is supposed to be much better for the body and reduce the risk of perineal tears. No such luck - this baby is determined to be pushed out and soon!

Martin joined me in the pool shortly after the Midwives returned from lunch. It was great to have his support and I guess he finally felt useful and like he was doing something. Martin sat behind me supporting me while I knelt, leaning on the edge of the pool with Ramona facing me encouraging me. Ramona recognises that I am in transition and encourages me to go with my body and move to where I feel comfortable. I float between a squatting and a kneeling position using Martin's ankles as support. At one point I float back into Martin's arms and both Ramona and Evelyn are able to see how I am progressing and are delighted to see that the baby's head is crowning. This is so encouraging and I finally feel that this baby is going to be with us soon.

Second stage of Labour

I finally start pushing and did this for about an hour - it actually felt a lot quicker than that but I guess my whole concept of time had gone out of the window much earlier in the day. I really feel close and can feel the baby pushing down wanting to be out to see what all the fuss is about. Finally I know that this is it and with four quick, hard pushes the baby's head is out, between my legs. Ramona can see the head and asks me where I want Martin to be. I am incapable of answering her as I am touching this amazing squishy thing between my legs! Martin moved round to my side and with the next contraction I push the rest of the body out. I reach down and put my hands underneath the baby's shoulders and lift it to the surface. This has to be the most amazing moment of my life - to see my baby floating up through the water, so alert and amazed by what is going on.

Morgan puts in an appearance

Morgan Rowan Burns was born at 4.45pm on Sunday 2nd September 2001. He floated into the world with a complete look of wonder on his face.

I asked Ramona to call in Anna and Kylie and they came running. Everyone was eager to find out what it was so I had a look and introduced everyone to Morgan. I think Martin, Anna and Kylie were all blown away by it all and I don't think there was a dry eye between them. By this time the water was quite deep (as we had been over eager filling it to keep the temperature up and not so eager to empty it) and as the cord was a little on the short side I had problems holding Morgan above the water so we agreed that I should get out with him. I'm helped out of the pool and Anna cuts the cord while I hold Morgan (Martin really didn't want to do this). I lie down on the sofa bed and Kylie cracks open the champagne. What a moment - I just gaze down at my little boy, absolutely stunned that he is finally in my arms.

Over the next two hours Morgan is cleaned up, measured and weighed (7lb 8oz and 52 cms long). I decided to deliver the placenta naturally and unfortunately this took quite a while. I think once syntometrine was mentioned my body was scared into delivery! Once that was over I was able to get cleaned up and get back to cuddling my new arrival.

Looking back...

The whole day was truly amazing and I still think that it all went incredibly quickly. (I was convinced it was going to be a 2-day labour.) I am so pleased that I went for a home delivery. I felt so comfortable in surroundings I knew. At no point did I regret my decision and felt completely confident that I needed nothing more than the support of my husband, friends and the midwives. The labour was drug and intervention free and I came away only with a small tear which I did not want stitching. The midwives were truly brilliant and gave me so much encouragement and support.

Next time (yes we will have more children, we're already planning it) I want another home water birth and I hope it goes as well. The only thing I think I will do differently is look into using meditation techniques. I feel I wasn't able to focus my thoughts and energy enough into the contractions and I hope that meditation will help next time.