Excellent pastiche of I. Welsh's classic Trainspotting monologue. It's worth quoting in full (by the magic of a Creative Commons license):

Choose a country where you're not allowed to walk down the street unmolested by some knuckle-dragging copper demanding you prove who you are.

Choose Shiraz and Ciabatta before waiting eight years and choosing to vocally crap on people who chose Shiraz and Ciabatta.

Choose a fat slob who tells a representative of Wales's national newspaper that he doesn't matter because he's not national enough, couldn't string a coherent sentence together if his life depended on it, takes the car for journeys of 200 yards, punches protestors in the face, and make him the man in charge of the nuclear launch codes if his boss has another "minor heart episode".

Choose the people who said that they'd never introduce tuition fees for students, shortly before introducing tuition fees for students. Choose the people who said they'd fix the House of Lords, then didn't. Choose the people who said they'd fix this voting system where all but 200,000 people are ignored even during election campaigns, then decided it didn't suit them.

Choose a party which thinks that the term "wasted vote" is anything other than an affront to everything it stands for.

Choose a man who decided in private to invade Iraq and then gather as much evidence, fake or not, to garner public support. Choose a man who denied doing so. Choose a man who knowingly initiated a war based on the concept of regime change, who knew that doing so is against the law, and lied, lied and lied again about doing so. Choose a man who, having been found out, says it's OK because the regime needed to be changed even though that's against the law.

Choose a government which cuts £60k to the wee Woodcraft Folk for not agreeing with that, before handing over £1.2m to Christian fundamentalist "youth workers". Choose a party which had over 400 members of parliament, of whom less than a fifth had the nerve to stand up to it all.

Choose a man who told you point blank that he did not "out" David Kelley, before admitting finally last week that -- oops, oh dear, I was lying through my arse again and I did do it after all.

Choose a party packed to the rafters with people who think it's alright to lock people up indefinitely without trial, who oppose even letting it go under the eyes of a judge first, who appear on television to claim that the legislation resulting from their defeat on that point proves that their plans are moderate. Choose a party whose Home Office representative appeared on television only yesterday claiming that the solution to not letting people into the country who shouldn't be granted admission is to introduce ID cards, rather than the slightly more obvious method of checking their passports.

Choose a party whose stated policy on anti-terror provisions is to repeal the Magna Carta. Most of all, choose letting that smug little tosser claim on Friday morning that you agreed with every last thing he ever did.

I chose not to choose Labour.

I choose something else.